This morning started off just fuckin' fantastic. I'm in the middle of a horrible dream when I was woken up abruptly by "Mommy, come in! I need to poop!" at around 6:30. On a Saturday. While I appreciate being awoken from the dream, I did not appreciate having to read the alphabet book to a pooping 3 year old before I had gotten to pee or brush my teeth. Or having to pin him down to wipe his ass afterwards.
An hour and a half later, I'm walking to Jazzercise. Dum de dum, just me, my workout mat, and my commuter mug with some speed in it (ok, it might have been orange tea, same dif). I get to the cross-street, see no cars coming, and scurry across the middle of the street rather than wait for the light half a block down.
I make it to the other side and am walking through the parking lot towards the studio when a cop car zooms in front of me with it's lights on.
"Noooooooo,!" I scream very loudly in my head.
"Yesssssss!" Fate screams back. I hate that bitch sometimes, I really do.
The very polite officer gets out and asks for my ID, which I don't have. Thank goodness I wasn't behind the wheel of a car, I suppose. He tells me he has to give me a ticket for fuckin' JAY WALKING. SERIOUSLY????????? They ACTUALLY GIVE TICKETS FOR THAT?
The answer to that is yes, yes they do.
So I stand there and dictate all my information to the guy (he didn't even give me props for having my driver's license number memorized), while the 25 or so people waiting for class to start can all see me through the windows of the studio.
We finish our little "tell me all your personal info" discussion, he tells me the fine should be half of whatever a moving violation would be (greeeeaaaat), and I thank the guy (WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?) before heading to class. Where the instructor, into her microphone for all to hear, asks me if I had just gotten a ticket for jay walking. AWESOME.
So, to recap, my day started with poop and pretty much went to shit.
4 comments:
I call BS. Really? A Jaywalking ticket? Who the fuck does that? Dude must have been having a bad day. Sorry he ruined yours too.
And I always thank cops after tickets? WTF for? asshats. :p
Seriously? How lame is that? Answer: Incredibly fucking lame!
What would have happened if you didn't have your driver's license number memorized? Could he have looked you up by name?
where the fuck are you? working or cooking or jazzing or something?
or, wait for it...jaywalking?!
Wow, what an ass that cop was! I don't know why he couldn't have just gave you a warning. Isn't there real crimes he could be stopping? You and my dad are now the only two people I know who have gotten a ticket for Jay walking! He got his a 6:30 am walking across the street to go to get a cup of coffee, there were literally no cars or people anywhere on the street but that cop felt the need to start his day and my dads with a ticket! Geez and they wonder why people don't like cops LOL!
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