Then today I saw one that said "I'm 16 and a new driver" which I thought was either a really funny joke to play on someone, or some parent's sick way of getting people to drive carefully around their kid.
So, I started to contemplate some bumper stickers that might be appropriate for my car.
- Driving slow because mommy guilt is weighing me down.
- I don't drive fast, I just hurry to prevent potty accidents.
- This car stops to wave at all garbage trucks and tractors.
- If you see my sanity, let me know.
- Don't bother honking, it will only confuse me.
- Disneymania music plays constantly here. Run away now.
- I'd rather be sleeping (which may explain why I don't pull forward when the light turns green).
- Will poop on the potty for candy.
- My child will never be an honor student. We're just going for happy, well-adjusted, and good hand-eye coordination.
- Undecided about God's existence, but if there is a God, she's got skillz.
- Perfect moms can bite me.
- If I swerve, it's because I'm trying to stop the screaming by reaching the snack trap my kid threw on the floor.
- I Jazzercise. What's it to you?
- Robbing me would be a waste of your time: I'm live on a teacher's salary and have no money or valuables.
- Go ahead and give me a dirty look, if it makes you feel better. I won't see it due to dirty windows.
And my personal fav:
- Not drunk, just texting.
What would your bumper sticker say? And if you tell me it would say something about how you rock climb without equipment in an effort to make me feel inferior, I'll know you're lying.
9 comments:
OMG, these are all too funny and yet so true! I will definitely need the "If I swerve, it's because I'm trying to reach the snack trap" one LOL.
Oh God, you are too damn funny. I just laughed so loud I woke up my toddler.
My child will never be an honor student. We're just going for happy, well-adjusted, and good hand-eye coordination.
Ah, classic. I think you need to whip out these bad boys on Cafe Press. Just sayin.
Seriously, your blog is a regular source of my laughter in the day. If I had one it would say, "Yes I'm talking on the phone and driving. It's the only time my toddler is stuck in one place."
or maybe, "I got 3 hours of sleep, what's your excuse?"
I effing LOVE you.
Thanks for the laughs.
And I'm nowhere near witty enough to come up with a funny bumper sticker.
I'll leave that to you. ;) My life is hilarious - I know you can come up with something good for me!
Glad I got some giggles!
Val, here are your's:
"Try that again, and I'll be forced to serve you a plate of mean-voice and dirty looks, along with a side of whoop-ass."
"If you get in an accident, I'm qualified to save your life. And steal your wallet."
"I love everything about my life. That's what the voices inside my head tell me, anyways."
"My virtual friends are way better than your real ones."
I like the last one, best. :)
I love you and your witty bumper stickers. And I'll borrow from MoFo and say "I drive a minivan. That pretty much sums up my life". Mmm hmm.
these are too funny, you should do a me me on this, it would be funny to see what the responses would be. (if you do it, please let me know).
LOL! LOVE these!! I could probably stick a few of yours on my car!! A few of my other might be...
- If you see this car driving, out past 10 pm... call the cops, its probably been stolen.
- Honk if you change diapers!!
- I'd rather be listening to MY music.
Crackin' up!!!
I'd probably have to say Drunk AND Texting.
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