The MOMMY, DO IT Incident

So, we attempted potty training. I won't tell you if it worked or not, but I will tell you I get to attempt it again in a month.



During one of the 'you'll sit on this potty and pee even if it takes all day' moments, the kiddo looked at me with this incredibly pained face and whined loudly "MOMMY, DO IT!". I had to laugh and then said Mommy couldn't do it for him, he had to do it himself.


Hmmm, in retrospect, perhaps it was the laughter that sealed my fate of having to do Potty Training, Round 2. Eh!


Anyways....his too cute for words comment got me thinking. Right there, in that very moment, he and I both experienced what it really means to grow up.



Growing up isn't ditching the bottles, losing interest in Yo Gabba Gabba (which, please god, tell me does happen at some point!), or moving up a shoe size. Growing up isn't moving from the expensive convertible car seat to the slightly less expensive booster seat to the free seat belt. Growing up isn't leaving behind half-day kindergarten to go the torturous full-day of first grade. Growing up isn't being able to legally vote, buy cigarettes, or drink alcohol (please, like any silly LAW ever stopped us from doing those things anyways. Especially the voting one. I mean, duh! Who doesn't want to get involved in the spectacular world of politics?). These are all just things that happen to a person as they age.

But, we all know, aging is certainly NOT the same thing as growing up. Not even close. I know plenty of people who are well into their 30's and 40's who act like selfish children. I also know people in their teens who are wise beyond their years. Aging? It's just adding numbers.


Growing up is learning to do on your own what, in the past, someone else has always done for you. No matter how much you don't wanna do it.


Really, my kid's first experience in growing up was within hours of escaping my womb. In the womb, he didn't have to give nourishment a second thought. But, on the outside, he had to work at it. Our first few days of nursing were not smooth sailing, because he didn't want to suck. Right there, that was the first time he had to do something that I couldn't do for him. It took some time, but eventually he got it (and yeah, there went the next 17 months of my life! Seriously, my poor boobs will NEVER be the same.).


He's had a few more experiences in growing up since then. Learning to learn to drink from a cup when he was thirsty, but I couldn't be there to hold it for him; learning to walk on his own because he wanted something on the other side of the room, but I couldn't be there to hold his hand; learning to entertain himself because he's bored and if Mommy has to place race cars one more damn time, she's gonna lose it; learning to crawl out of the crib because he's done sleeping (which also lead to learning how to give Mommy a heart attack). And I know there are many more growing up experiences to come.


Some moms find each of those growing up moments so sad, because it means they are losing their baby. Strangely, I've never felt that way. Part of me assumes this is because I'm cold and dead inside. But part of me thinks it's because those moments are meant to be celebrated, not mourned. For each moment means that little person has accomplished another step towards independence.

I'd much rather celebrate these moments, because it means someday, this kid will be able to survive on his own. And also because, hell no, I'm not letting my kid live in my house when he's 30! I mean, I'm not pointing fingers or anything, but Mom, Dad, really? Two of my brothers living back home? And now one of their girlfriends, too? REALLY?

Kidding, my parents are great. Really.



I will celebrate the moments my kid learns how to do things like prepare his own meals, find a way to pay his cable bill, and how to schedule both work and school. He will have to learn how to parallel park. He will have to learn to make and keep one or two great friends instead of 15 untrustworthy ones. He will have to learn how to let time heal a broken heart. He will have to learn how one failure, or a whole series of failures, does not make HIM a failure (sigh, I'm still learning that one). No matter how much he may not want to learn these things, he'll have to. I can't magically do them for him. But I can be a teacher, a positive role model, and his biggest cheerleader every time he has a learning moment that gets him one step closer to becoming a grown up.



Now, when do I get to say I'm a grown up? Pretty sure I will have learned everything there is to learn any minute now.....