The BevMo Incident

So, I wrote up a shorter version of this little incident and it got published in our local paper! Anonymously, of course. My husband still doesn't know about it, as far as I know. But, several friends somehow convinced me it could become a blog. Here goes nothing:

After leaving work and picking up my 2-year-old, we headed to BevMo for the 5-cent wine sale (again). I went to the one near work, which meant I spent the entire time with my head ducked down just in case one of my students' parents walked in. Couldn't have any of them knowing that their child's teacher drinks wine while she grades their papers.

So, I purchased an entire case of wine. The kid sat in the cart, snacking on something relatively unhealthy and messy, but was quiet and happy. Sweet! An uneventful trip, and now we could head home! Right? "Hahahaha!" laughed Fate, mockingly. Bitch.

I parked the cart next to the car and turned around to unlock the door. In those five unsupervised seconds, my toddler stood up in the cart and tipped the whole thing over. Bottles broken, wine gushing everywhere — one screaming, terrified 2-year-old. Cars driving by actually slowed down to see the commotion. I wanted to crawl into a hole!

A store employee was kind enough to help me clean up and replace the broken bottles (while tactfully mentioning that next time, they would be GLAD to help me out to my car next time. Well fuck you very much for offering THIS time!). Said 2-year old was completely fine, with not a scratch or bruise, having miraculously managed to stay in the cart as it fell.

But I know the truth: I almost killed my child in my quest for wine.