Hello Blog. Nice to see you again. I have not forgotten about you. Pinkie swear.
But since becoming an officially certified Jazzercise instructor, I've spent 2 weeks learning about 20 new routines. My brain has been mushtified (yes, it's a word). And we have video-proof that our son can do many of those routines almost perfectly. Like, scary perfectly.
And in there, I also celebrated 2 Thanksgivings (and decided the reason Thanksgiving and Christmas are far apart is because we need at least 4 weeks in between large family events in order to not kill each other), drove up and down half of California (mapquest it--it's a big state), and spent some quality time with 3rd graders. My kid got his first black eye (ran into a box at day care--clearly he is the epitomy of grace), my husband curbed his car and popped two tires (yup, that was pretty much the nail in our Christmas coffin), and I started a diet (hello, how dumb am I? Dieting THIS time of year? Good lord, I'm a freakin' idiot).
Oh, and did you know that Christmas is coming? If you were not aware, walk into ANY elementary school classroom. The teacher will have a glazed look in her eyes and her hair will be thinner than the day before. There will be at least one student wearing a Santa hat. And another wearing reindeer antlers. And another wearing a tank-top and flip-flops despite the fact that it's 36 degrees outside. And it will be very loud.
And you will hear conversations like this:
"What happens if Santa dies?"
"Then there's another one."
"What happens if HE dies?"
"Oh, your parents will still buy you presents, don't worry."
3rd graders seriously crack my shit up.
I should mention these same third graders will soon be involved in a FABULOUS musical titled....wait for it....A Sombrero For Santa.
Cuz nothing says Christmas like Santa taking a trip to Mexico. I'm assuming it's because there's cheap drugs there, but haven't read the script that closly.
Seriously, how do I get roped into this shit?
Anyways, blog, I have not forgotten your existence. And hope to get reacquainted soon.
Quit laughing, Fate. I KNOW I'm busy, but really, do you have to be such a bitch about it????
But since becoming an officially certified Jazzercise instructor, I've spent 2 weeks learning about 20 new routines. My brain has been mushtified (yes, it's a word). And we have video-proof that our son can do many of those routines almost perfectly. Like, scary perfectly.
And in there, I also celebrated 2 Thanksgivings (and decided the reason Thanksgiving and Christmas are far apart is because we need at least 4 weeks in between large family events in order to not kill each other), drove up and down half of California (mapquest it--it's a big state), and spent some quality time with 3rd graders. My kid got his first black eye (ran into a box at day care--clearly he is the epitomy of grace), my husband curbed his car and popped two tires (yup, that was pretty much the nail in our Christmas coffin), and I started a diet (hello, how dumb am I? Dieting THIS time of year? Good lord, I'm a freakin' idiot).
Oh, and did you know that Christmas is coming? If you were not aware, walk into ANY elementary school classroom. The teacher will have a glazed look in her eyes and her hair will be thinner than the day before. There will be at least one student wearing a Santa hat. And another wearing reindeer antlers. And another wearing a tank-top and flip-flops despite the fact that it's 36 degrees outside. And it will be very loud.
And you will hear conversations like this:
"What happens if Santa dies?"
"Then there's another one."
"What happens if HE dies?"
"Oh, your parents will still buy you presents, don't worry."
3rd graders seriously crack my shit up.
I should mention these same third graders will soon be involved in a FABULOUS musical titled....wait for it....A Sombrero For Santa.
Cuz nothing says Christmas like Santa taking a trip to Mexico. I'm assuming it's because there's cheap drugs there, but haven't read the script that closly.
Seriously, how do I get roped into this shit?
Anyways, blog, I have not forgotten your existence. And hope to get reacquainted soon.
Quit laughing, Fate. I KNOW I'm busy, but really, do you have to be such a bitch about it????
1 comment:
Hahahaha...love the photo of the dude on the beach...he spent some SERIOUS time with a bottle of Nair, didn't he? Anyhow, hope things calm down for you and that you actually get to enjoy the next few weeks. And, yay for you for becoming a certified instructor.
P.S. you know you're going to have to post at least one video of your son doing the routines. Pretty please??? :)
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